SalamPerantau [edisi homesick]

salam

bismilahiramanirahim

dah nak masuk 3 tahun. everything's at home seems to move very fast. i could hardly catch up. kalau dah duduk jauh beribu batu, you'll miss some important occasions in your family. mak saudara paling rapat ada baby baru tiba-tiba. congrats MakTeh walaupun dah lambat. and one of my cousins dah nak bertunang december ni. congrats jugak abang Emi. i was taken aback at first sebab dulu time kecikkecik dia la childhood hero.haha, gedik! crush time budak budak je la tapinya. sekarang dah boleh jadi husband orang dah adoii.

siapa kata jarak tak bagi kesan pada sesuatu hubungan memang penipu besar. as a sister, i'm a failure. i wasn't there when my sister take her first examination in school. apa lagi nak dengar cerita dia berkonflik dengan kawan kawan lain. she hardly talk to me and that makes me feel sad, and bad too. i was overwhelmed. it's frustrating having to see her being all happy with her friends but hardly utter a word when she's with me. you know what i mean.

aku memang salahkan jarak dalam kes ni sebab dalam 365 hari, aku jumpa dia 5-6 minggu je. itupun sekali setahun.

sepanjang hampir tiga tahun, banyak occasion kat rumah yang aku miss. birthday ayah tahun lepas, Opah meninggal kat hospital.. tak jejak pun lagi kubur arwah. birthday adik-beradik memang tak pernah dapat celebrate sama-sama. dengan kawan-kawan pun jumpa time balik summer je. itu pun tak sempat jumpa semua. masing masing dah grown ups la katakan. kalau raya tak payah cakap la memang good bye la lemang. yang paling sedih, ibu kena hospitalized pun tak dapat nak jaga. cuma dapat doa dari jauh. kalau dalam family rasa macam terlalu lagging.

i guess that's the price i have to pay; for living too far.

tapi takpe you jangan risau, i kental. i perempuan macho. walaupun sekali sekala i nangis jugak dalam comforter.